Includes bibliographical references and index.

In which the murder takes place -- In which you catch a glimpse of my green card and sample immigrant crêpes -- In which I try to examine Nina's diary but speak with the strangers instead -- In which we observe emigres on the beach and learn everything we need to know about potential murder suspects -- In which we revisit Nina's childhood and play hide-and-seek in the summer gardens -- In which the detective gets unexpected mail -- In which we finally learn about the men in Nina's life and meet "the Eurasian genius" -- In which we attend the Eurasian tea party and lose all respect for Attila the Hun -- Which might make you blush -- In which we learn about the "other woman" and read the Manifesto of the Kinipeople -- In which we all go to a Hungarian party and learn about Soviet missile launchers -- In which I finally see Ninotchka and wonder about the consequences -- In which I spend some time in the Bibliotheque Nationale and stumble upon a conspiracy theory ciphered in the script of Ninotchka -- A digression on common fears and on the importance of dusting, preferably with a wet rag -- In which the best part happens behind the scenes, so the anxious reader can just skip this chapter altogether -- Hardly a chapter at all, a couple of loose pages from my computer diary -- Which tells you how to cure a common cold with roasted salt and potato steam and how to remove stains on your red Pioneer tie -- In which the detective misbehaves in the movie theater while watching a film with Gerard Depardieu -- In which we finally meet Nina's last lover Lionel, learn of his desire to become a great American writer and read his sketch about Russian roulette -- Which tells you what to do when you run into your lover's wife in the supermarket -- In which we learn how Ninotchka was conceived and what made Greta Garbo laugh -- In which a mysterious character from the third row packs his bags and makes a confession -- Up in the air -- In which we travel to Russia and watch a musical dedicated to the Soviet Constitution -- In which my beautiful grandmother takes her last stroll in Paris -- In which I invite you to come home with me but Tram No. 30 runs very slowly -- In which I bury my grandmother -- Which offers you seven elephants of happiness -- In which we dispel our sad thoughts and learn what Ninel Markovna really did in Paris -- In which you meet my English professor and drink the cheap wine of our youth -- In which we taste a fruit drink and cabbage pirogi at my Alma mater and learn what happened to Boris Krestovsky in Russia -- In which we stop making Eurasian jokes and explore the double life of Yuri Poltavsky-Rizhsky -- In which you follow me to Moscow and have a pickle treat -- In which we eavesdrop on Comrade Kaganovich -- In which we watch The lilac sunset and listen to Kachalsky's songs -- In which I meet Cossacks and have a romantic escapade at the Pizza hut -- In which the murderer makes a scene -- In which we get homesick in Gorky Park -- In which we leave Russia and bid farewell to Rabonovich and Anka the machine gunner -- Which tells you that there is no place like home -- Greta Garbo's last smile.

Print version record.